THE MASK

Being outspoken is not really my personality. I don’t easily open up my thoughts and emotions. I have the tendency to keep things to myself. But I find ways to let the person know about it afterwards.

I’ve longed for the Christmas season to come because my young man will be coming over after seven months of not seeing each other. It’s supposed to be a happy get together but it did not turned out that way. The first meeting over dinner was already a bad start. But that was just a short moment. I was hopeful that better days were coming ahead and that everything will fall into place. But unfortunately, it did not happen as I expected. Dark clouds seemed to cover up few wonderful moments. Unhappiness overshadowed and hurt was an intense feeling that time yet smiles may be seen on my face and I was able to make things appeared alright. And he went home without knowing how I truly felt that I remembered the hurts and pains more than the bliss.

Although I took the courage to inform him my irritation and displeasure but it was already late. He’s back in his place and there’s nothing he could do to make up for the lost time. I’ve realized that I also committed a big mistake of not letting him know from the start. I would have saved myself from ruining my Christmas with my Lavs. Next time, I won’t indulged in those pathetic emotional drama which left me scarred. I promised myself to be true to what I feel especially when I’m with my special person coz I know he loves me enough to understand me…