THE MASK

Being outspoken is not really my personality. I don’t easily open up my thoughts and emotions. I have the tendency to keep things to myself. But I find ways to let the person know about it afterwards.

I’ve longed for the Christmas season to come because my young man will be coming over after seven months of not seeing each other. It’s supposed to be a happy get together but it did not turned out that way. The first meeting over dinner was already a bad start. But that was just a short moment. I was hopeful that better days were coming ahead and that everything will fall into place. But unfortunately, it did not happen as I expected. Dark clouds seemed to cover up few wonderful moments. Unhappiness overshadowed and hurt was an intense feeling that time yet smiles may be seen on my face and I was able to make things appeared alright. And he went home without knowing how I truly felt that I remembered the hurts and pains more than the bliss.

Although I took the courage to inform him my irritation and displeasure but it was already late. He’s back in his place and there’s nothing he could do to make up for the lost time. I’ve realized that I also committed a big mistake of not letting him know from the start. I would have saved myself from ruining my Christmas with my Lavs. Next time, I won’t indulged in those pathetic emotional drama which left me scarred. I promised myself to be true to what I feel especially when I’m with my special person coz I know he loves me enough to understand me…

Playing in the Rain

Just when I went out from the office, I saw these four children having fun in the rain. And my childhood memories flashed back. With my neighbors and friends, we enjoyed the rain playing and running around our subdivision until the rain went off.

I was happy looking at them. So I've decided to take pictures of them. At first, they were unmindful of me. Till they voluntered to pose...



But these children sent a little shiver on my neck because they are enjoying splashing water which had build up in the canal. They would ignore anybody who tried to reprimand them to get off. I just hope they won't acquire any diseases. Where could have been the parents of the little buddies.

Missing the Angel

He came in the middle of confusions and doubts. So innocent yet hurled with accusations. So young to be caught in the middle of the clash of immature person and pathetic made-to-believe situations.

But his first cry gave us laughter that wiped out all these negative thoughts and emotions. Everytime his eyes opens is a promise of a brighter day. His cries in the night is like music to the ears. Then he learns new tricks and began to respond back and laugh out loud. When held in the arms, all is worth it.

In the point that everything's alright, a sad truth appeared before us that we didn't expect to happen very soon. Our angel was taken back by the same person who did not accepted him at first. Truly a painful scenario especially for my parents who have witnessed him from birth and who have also thier share of sacrifices.

And what's left are the memories and these pics which was taken last Oct. 19, 2008. For everything will never be the same again...

Out of Line

The internet connection is very slow lately :(. It's killing lots of time. And it makes me lazy to do some blogging...

Sweet and Sour November

It was nine years ago this same month that I have opened myself to someone. I don't really like him but he's very persistent in having a relationship with me. Being into it for the first time was not easy. It was so awkward and all those stuff.

But as the days and months came, masked in a tough facade, he is truly a sweet and gentle person inside. He's a practical giver. He has not given me even a single card. Instead he gave me flashlight, umbrella, handkerchief and lots of thing which can be of use.

Yet our bond is not all bed of roses. We were also tossed by storms. It was also one november that we broke up for 3 months due to immaturity. Tears fell of missing him. Life was dull and dry without him.

His call last saturday exactly the first day of november reminded me of the wonderful as well as the the not so good things brought about by this month nine years ago which all have contributed to what our relationship has become now.

Trying Hard Cook

I can clean the whole house. I can wash the clothes. I can do the dishwashing. I can do all these stuff perfectly except of one chore which is uncontrollably and controllably neglected by me. I DON"T COOK VERY WELL.

Uncontrollably, because my mother does the cooking at home or if my mother is not around, she assigns my elder sister to cook our food.When I was in college, we just cook our rice and buy our viand outside. And even until today, I don't get to cook our food.For convenience sake, we still buy outside.

Controllably neglected because I chose other chores. I don't exert much effort to befriend the spurting hot oil in the frying pan. I find it hard to get the right taste for others to like my cooking.

But I can remember well when I was in elementary, I saw in the tv ad a scrambled egg with evap milk. I tried it and was so excited to have it tasted by my family but it did not met thier standards. And last saturday, I made a pancake and I got the same negative reactions. But I don't feel bad about it. In fact we just laughed and tried to decode what might have gone wrong with the recipe. I promised myself that whenever I go home, I'll cook for my family.And this time I said to myself, somehow I can master the craft.

I guess, I love cooking after all...

PRICELESS GIFT 2

I know it's quite a while since I had a post. In as much as I'd like to account our whereabouts during my friend's homecoming but I cant' anymore remember the details.

Nonetheless, more the delicious food we ate, the places we've been to and the things we did, there is this certain bond that held us together. And that distance and time is not an hindrance for a lasting friendship where we can easily find a place like home in our hearts.

PRICELESS GIFT

Last weekend I went to my old hometown for its barangay fiesta after 6 years of having left the place. The place has given me lots of good as well as not so good memories. But most importantly, it's where I have meet friends to cherish for the rest of my life.

And talking of friends, I mainly went there because of a friend who came home after 3 years. But she'll just be here for two weeks only. Then after, she'll be back to the States. A day after she arrived, she gave me a surprised visit at my workplace. OMG, she has managed to lose weight. She's sexy now.:)

I'll finish my story tomorrow, got to go...

DAWN SWIMMING

Last sunday, my friends and I went for a swim. It was something different coz we went there at around 4 am.

Here are few pics I wanna share...

The sunrise was amazing.

The food preparation...



Eating time..


Poses













The pets we brought along..

It was a total fun...

My Coach

In any field, in order to attain perfection or victory, one should have someone to look up to as guide, as a support or perhaps even a critic that will push you to your limit.

You might be thinking that this is something very serious. Nope. Maybe just a bit.

I'm talking about someone who introduced me to the world of blogging. He's been doing blogs for quite sometime now. He gives instructions on the necessary things to be done and informs me about essentials things I need to know. Sometimes, he is so patient with me. Sometimes, he generously spend time explaining to me or answering my queries. But at some other times, he is not so courteous too.

I've been a member for three months yet I have not really devoted much time on learning about blogging due to personal reasons and work constraints. Although I have not appreciated the beauty of blogging now but I have decided to continue doing it. Maybe it takes a little more of me to enjoy it as much as others do. And hopefully I can write at least 3 blogs a week and will soon interact with the rest of the world.

And for the one person who has been around, I'm very much grateful to you. Continue the good job.

Make Over

Friday evening, my boyfriend txted that he has a surprise for me. No matter how I pleaded that he would tell me what it is, but of no avail.

But on a phonecall by him on the following day, he voluntarily told me that he has made changes on my blog site.Upon hearing , I could not anymore contain my excitement visiting it.

Monday came but the internet connection was very slow although I was able to have a glimpse of my new site with its very fine renovations. It already has my pic. He got me a chat box, changed my url as well as my blogname.All these and more looks very good to me.

A billion thanks to my blog site artist.

"I DO"

Last August 23, 2008, a very close friend of mine finally walked down the aisle, a beginning of a new chapter of her life.

I was able to witness how hard it is to get things ready for the wedding. Well, good for those who can afford to hire a wedding planner. I've seen her with her make-up on yet still going to the kitchen to check if the viands are ready or the accessories during the church ceremony are prepared. But she doesn't mind at all. And when I saw her infront of the altar, everything's paid off.

The priest gave a very excellent homily. He said that during the ceremony, the man or the woman are quick to say yes to each other, to tell thier promises for each other.(in richer and in poorer, in sickness and in health till death do us part). But after 5, 10. or 20 years and when storms come thier married life,could they still renew thier vows? That was the striking question of the priest for the couples and singles alike who were present there.

Well for my friend, I hope and pray for thier married life to last forever.

My Turn

It's been more than five years now when I got myself to the employed group. Grateful?Yes I am very much. The salary that I'm earning has been providing my needs. I can say that I have helped and still continuing helping others especially my family.

But sometime in the afternoon today, a father(I think) approached me saying that he wanted his companion, whom I believe is his son, to be employed as a boy(utilityman). I was stunned and was speechless for a few seconds. But I managed to respectfully told him that there is no vacancy. So they went away.

Being in the scenario even for a while and seeing the skinny father and his son walk away really broke my heart. And I silently prayed that He'll give me a chance to employ lots of Filipinos and be able to become a blessing to them. And I ask God that this situation that I had this afternoon will never happen again because I wanted so much to create employment opportunities and be able to touch lives.

PHOENIX

It was yesterday when my friend handed me a postcard. And to my surprise, it came from a friend of mine in the US.It may seem ordinary with a small note on it but to me it's priceless. It touches my heart that my friend whom I have not seen for 3 years now took some of her time to send me a postcard with a picture of the capital city Of Arizona-Phoenix. It's really heartwarming.

I miss her much but I am excited that she'll be coming home this november....

UNKNOWN

I've always been afraid of feeling the way that I do right now. But the feeling is real. And the more that I ignore it, the more that it gets deeper in my heart, and the more that the pain becomes stronger. Yet I cannot address it because I am afraid to say the wrong words, or worst of all , I am afraid to know the truth.

I am holding on something that I might lose. But I realized that I cannot continue holding on and lose myself. But coward as a I am, I'll just allow things as they are hoping that in due time, I can have the those dark clouds uncovered before me which might break or make my heart....

BANANA

Can you imagine yourself eating only rice with oil in it? Or drinking a glass of water just to fill the stomach? Can your senses take reject bananas as food on the table? Can you imagine earning P70.00 in a week from picking garbage? How can you budget the money for a family of 6 persons? Can you still keep your faith in Him ith this kind of situation?

Me? It's unthinkable!!!

But a tv show last saturday opened my eyes and heart how blessed I am to be not in the situations above. It showed a very unconditional love for others amidst the hardships as well as being faithful to the Creator.

take a plunge

To celebrate the birthdays of my three co-employees, we had decided to go to the beach yesterday. On board the L-300 which we borrowed from the company, we were able to reach our destination at nine-thirty am. There we had fish salad(kinilaw), broiled fish, and broiled chicken as our viand. We also had sweet potatoes, boiled banana and biko on the table. Fruit salad was served in the afternoon as our dessert.

I enjoyed looking at my friends who are playing in the water. Because the sun was high, I decided to swim later in the afternoon so as not to expose myself to sunburn. The rain poured which we hungrily savored like little children playing in the rain.

Everything went well amidst that we did not have grandiose foods but what really matters was the fun we had under God's beautiful nature and enjoying each others company. And that is priceless...

truly rich

A friend of mine just recently lent me a book. Looking at its author, I knew it would be interesting. And true enough, I was able to finish reading the whole book for seven hours. I just couldn't pull myself away because as I go through every pages, it opened my eyes to facts on how to be truly rich. I think we all wanted to be wealthy, right? There's nothing wrong with that.

Personally, the book is a huge help to me as it not only adds knowledge but it also inculcates practical solutions to situations alongside with spiritual abundance.How i wished I've encountered this book before, I would not have wasted my time and money. But i think it's never to late to start...

I thank God for my friend who generously have me borrowed her book. I thank the author for sharing his time and knowledge to billions of people. May I be able to apply what I've read to my real life situation..

MILES AWAY...

Whenever questioned about matters of the heart, I am a bit hesitant to share mine. Because I always get the same reaction. That is Doubt on its sincerety and fidelity on both sides.

My boyfriend and I have been maintaining a relationship far from each other for 8 years now due to work. It takes almost 7 hour bus ride to get to each other's place.It's never easy.

But what's keping this relationship?Lots and lots of TRUST and the commitment to make it last this long....amidst the advantages and disadvantages of long distance love affair. :)

LAMENT OF HOPE

Life has never been easy especially nowadays with the increasing prices of commodities,fuel products etc....To meet both ends has been a great challenge.Standard of living has been expensive.

But yesterday in church, the priest gave a very excellent and timely homily. He stressed out that no matter how hard times might become, we should learn to whistle once in a while with the hope that everything will be taken care of, that all our concerns will be addreessed one by one and that we'll get through these trying times. Because we have a Father of forgiveness, mercy & generosity.

Meal and More

This day has been marked by lots of food, food and food.We had fish salad, lato(family of seaweeds) and tinolang isda for lunch.Our boss treated us with ice cream -chocolate and mango flavor during our snack time. Liempo(grilled pork meat) with refreshing softdrinks was set for dinner.

With all of these, i realized how blessed i am to be well provided with the basic necessity eventhough how hard times may seem lately. But i never forget to pray as i eat that others may also have something to fill their stomach.

And so for all these, I'm very much grateful...

sleepy.....

It's been more than a week now since I've had my sleeping time on time.I dire to sleep early which is 9-9:30 pm. Aside from I'ts already my habit, I see to it to sign off early for my eyes' sake which are not giving me good vision as i used to have.

Due to some demand from work, I go home at around 11 pm. I feel that my eyes are falling right now. I took a moment of my time to write this blog to have a break as well.

I wish that this whole thing will finally end and that I'll be able to have a very gud nyt sleep.

As of now, I've gotta get to work...

My Bestfriend

I can no longer recall when was the last time i visited and talk to her.She has became my laughing partner when I'm happy, my crying shoulder when I'm sad, my great companion, my bestfriend.

She has known my strengths as well as my weaknesses, my victory as well as failures, my inner thoughts and feelings, my plans and dreams. She have kept her promise of secrecy all this years.

Although most of the time, I forget to communicate with her,she never left me. She's just waiting for me to take a few minutes of my time to grab a pen and write on her, my diary.